sexual frustration

I recently decided to expand my collection of sexual aids seeing as there are none in my house currently, WTF?
But that’s another story for another time.
So now I am beholden to surfing the internets for dildos, again. The only places available to shop in person around where I live cater to truckers. And while I nothing against them personally, I once made the mistake of going into one of these Video/Sex shops. To say blech would be an understatement. It was so totally skeevy that I couldn’t even fathom touching anything for fear of what might be on the product packages. It was not a very nice place to shop.
Since it’s been years that I’ve made the foray into online sex toy shopping, I was a little frightened by all the robotic hardware readily available to make a man obsolete in my world.
I decided to sign up for the sites email list to get my $10 off coupon with first purchase and now my inbox has awarded me with the opportunity to get a starter kit. For sex. I couldn’t wait to see what was in store for me.
How did I make it 43 years without knowing “deep throat gel” existed?
Do I need to desensitize my throat enough to gag on your cock? I hope I never find that particular need.
Some random thoughts entered my mind after reading the comments section about the product.

1. Are the cocks getting bigger and harder to swallow? Are the girls throats shrinking?
2. Is there any real reason why making a woman choke on your dick during oral sex really necessary?
3. Is this just flavored anal numbing lube? How does it affect the man’s penis? Does it make it go numb as well?
4. What kind of manufacturers guarantee do I have that it’s not the gel’s smell that is really making me gag?
5. Do they make this stuff up for shits and giggles in the R and D department? I would SO want to be in the marketing room when the ideas start flying. Is it all men in they’re behaving like 12 yr old boys and making crude jokes?

I’ve had to use viscous lidocaine which is much like benzocaine (the active numbing agent) before when I had a particularly bad case of tonsillitis once, not only did my throat and tongue go numb, but I’m pretty sure I talked wif a wifsp afterwards.

I hope this isn’t the case with the deep throat gel cause nothing screams sexy like Daffy Duck impersonations in the bedroom.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s