I was talking with a work mate last week and she was asking me what I thought were some of the things that makes me, in her words, so fucking weird *smirk*
I, of course decided to call them personal quirks, cause it just sounds better in my head.
I am a Leo if you believe or follow astrology and know what that means. A true sun sign. A lot about me pinpoints to all the things they say about the Leo. I’ve always been proud to be a Lion. I sure as hell act like the queen of the jungle sometimes. Funny thing is though, because of neuroses I’ve developed it has affected how I act around others. It is just that, an “act”. I hide the real me and only in one-on-one settings does the real me come out. I tend to be awkward, shy, introverted, quiet, self-contained, and solemn most of the time. Here are some of the things about the REAL me as well.
1. I can sing like a goddamn diva, if I’m alone. Put me in front of others and I sound like that dude from American Idol, William Hung, I do not BANG!
2. I will not under any circumstance eat meat off the bone unless you give me a knife and fork. Watching people eat meat from a bone makes me want to hurl. I have to hide my gag reflex in restaurants or keep my head down and avoid you like the fucking plague. My son eats boneless buffalo wings because of this.
3. I will throw up if presented or shown anything made from wet bread i.e. bread pudding, tres leches cake, sandwich bread that gets wet & soggy (making gagging noises even as I type this)
4. If most anyone tries to hug or touch me without invitation from me will likely get punched. I don’t do touchy feely!
5. Who invented crowds? I’d like to vote they all disappear. Again, the uninvited touching, ugh.
6. I cannot willingly do heights, which I find fucking hilarious because I want to go up into and onto structures that are tall and imposing, especially if there is a chance I can see the outdoors from more than the 2nd floor typically. But I’ve made exceptions on occasion with some disastrous results. Hello Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco, you evil bastard. I shall overcome this fear, maybe.
6a. I hate, hate tall bridges.
7. Flying, been there, done that, can’t stand the germs or the claustrophobia.
8. I have trichotillomania or hair pulling disorder. I also cannot stand scabs and have to pick them, blemishes or acne as well. These problems have always plagued me from the time I was a tiny 4 yr old with chicken pox. The scars I have are awful. I work hard to hide this part of myself because of the shame and embarrassment in public I feel.
9. I was born with infant drug withdrawal symptoms but it was not until I was an adult it was diagnosed and I understood where my health issues stem from.
10. I was 24 when I was diagnosed with a odd form of dyslexia called dyscalculia. It makes perfect sense now why I could never learn to understand math or music. Turns out I wasn’t stupid or lazy. I have adult ADD, OCD, chronic fatigue syndrome, chronic depression and anxiety issues, IBS, migraines, & have severe issues with drug allergies.
11. I was an alcoholic by age 9 and attended Al-Anon/Alateen meetings but never confessed to drinking. I was there because my parents were alcoholics. I also smoked marijuana that I can remember from age 6 to 18. I’ve relapsed on the alcohol a couple of times, but have developed such a sensitivity to it now, that I haven’t touched a drop in over 5 yrs.
12. I am very rash when it comes to making life altering changes and extremely nit-picky and indecisive about small things.
13. I have zero tolerance for stupidity.
14. I hate spiders but don’t mind snakes.
15. I almost died from eating bananas as a child, turns out I’m deathly allergic.
Wow, I am fucking weird, but hey it’s what makes me who I am. At 43, I’m not gonna be able to change most of it.