Lost to the cosmos

I came home this evening to learn that Robin Williams has died. I can barely believe such a beautiful soul has left us to join the cosmos. 

I can track my life to this man’s comedic talents, the unforgettable and poignant dramatic roles. I can honestly say that he made me laugh till I cried more than any other human has. He made me sad, scared, mesmerized, awed, and dumbfounded by his talent.

I know he battled his demons and they won. He fought a tough fight because depression lies. It is so hard to pull back from the precipice. It may seem much easier to let go and let our soul be at rest. That is the hardest thing for those left behind to understand.

I believe that there is no heaven or hell. I don’t believe in any God or deity. I think it’s unfairly cruel to believe my soul is any better or worse than any other’s that has inhabited this harsh world. That passing judgement is something that has evolved over time the same as the human being. We are incapable as humans to believe anything other than what we are taught until we choose to believe differently.

I’ve seen the precipice and I’ve tried hard to fall into the abyss, only to be dragged back. I didn’t have the answers why then, nor do I now as to why I didn’t succeed. I just know my demons are trying and that I fight them to be here for my son. 

I will miss Robin Williams just as I have every other soul that has moved on to start their next great journey.  



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